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Lockdown or Lockdrown?... Swimming to the surface

jennygoldbergsmith

Mmm … a difficult one to answer for anyone. However, from an artists perspective maybe I can look on the positive side,; setting aside the standard “artist angst” for a moment.

End of March 2020, the call out to stay at home lands on the doorstep ‘… what to do with our time?’ we all think… Me, the great procrastinating artist, actually got herself going again, thank goodness.

I don't know quite how it came about but I started sharing my sketchbook. For anyone who knows me, like really knows me, that in itself was a really unusual path to take. Yes, I’ve shared some stages of art developing on Instagram and Facebook in recent years but not my beginnings, mistakes, my soul … and after all, you artists out there, opening up your sketchbook for all the world to see, often with ‘warts n all”, is undoubtedly bearing your very soul. Well it was for me!

Anyway, I put it out there… Facebook, Instagram …for everyone, to not only see but follow by example. Example? Example? How very dare I! As per, the artist angst and feelings that there are so many creative people out there; so many that we all think better than ourselves. Why is that I wonder? Tortured souls. It was hard work, I’m not one for a daily art routine, generally if I feel in the mood for picking up my paints will; I procrastinate a lot! However, this daily sketchbook thingy gave me motivation, a real sense of responsibility and literally forced my shyness, modesty, laziness into the bin. I was embedded with guilt, which took control if I hadn’t produced a new sketchbook page of ideas to publish by 10pm! So, for 8 weeks I sketched in my beloved Moleskines and encouraged others to do the same. Fruit, vegetables, flowers, packets, drinks and buildings … Take a look back at my Instagram and Facebook page.

I loved it, it was cathartic, confidence generating and mindful … swimming not drowning.

Week nine, whilst still very much motivated to continue sketching I needed to give myself a new challenge and my sketchbook followers time to catch up or indeed a break from homework! I found BBC iPlayer “Life Drawing Live” … this was totally out of my comfort zone. Find the people in my work … I avoid them (rather like in lockdown!) I’ve consistently expressed the opinion that “I don't do people. I can’t draw people…” and so I edited them from every view I found, or canvas I developed. Well, it was tricky, life drawing, but not because of my perception of my ability; that disappeared by the end of the second task. It was tricky because of this drawing from an ‘online platform” but I managed it and recommend you have a go too. By the end of the session I had, I believed, produced several reasonable pieces and could no longer declare to friends and followers that “I can’t do people” … and I can say this not because I’ve developed a bigger lockdown artists ego, but those friends and followers told me I could (thank you Sue in particular) … so I started to believe them! I even dared to include two figures in my latest canvas, “Meet Me at the Slopes”, good grief!

Life drawing, drawing people, it was certainly a challenge, another confidence builder, exhilarating … I was still swimming, not drowning.

Full of motivation I continued the next 6 or so weeks of lockdown working in my little studio on a daily basis producing a new canvas, prepping for others and joining in with community projects, in particular painted stones for the “Buxton Covid Snake”, some of local landmarks were so good they were “taken away” by others haha (well there’s another endorsement!) and panels for the Buxton “Two Left Hands” alternative Wells Dressing … details of which I may reveal in another blog.

Oh and the photography too, Snapseed ( thanks Suzanne!) but that’s also for another blog. I’ll not drown you any more today!

So, Lockdown or Lockdrown? Yes, there were downs, drowns and still some but …

overall … I can honestly say, Artwise, I have loved it, really loved it! The isolation, mindfulness, challenge, confidence boost, motivation opportunities for myself and others… I definitely am “swimming” not “LOCKDROWNING!”



 
 
 

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©2023 by Jenny Goldberg Smith

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